Happy Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is a time for celebration, but this year it is a more sombre occasion for many. Some of those things which could once have been taken for granted suddenly seem less certain and, naturally, give rise to feelings of insecurity.

People are touched by events which have their roots far across the world. Whether it is the global economy or violence in a distant land, the effects can be keenly felt at home. Once again, many of our service men and women are serving on operations in common cause to bring peace and security to troubled places. For their loved ones, the worry will never cease until they are safely home.

In such times as these we can all learn some lessons from the past. We might begin to see things in a new perspective. And certainly, we begin to ask ourselves where it is that we can find lasting happiness.

Over the years, those who have seemed to me to be the most happy, contented and fulfilled have always been the people who have lived the most outgoing and unselfish lives; the kind of people who are generous with their talents or their time. There are those who use their prosperity or good fortune for the benefit of others whether they number among the great philanthropists or are people who, with whatever they have, simply have a desire to help those less fortunate than themselves.

What they offer comes in the form of what can easily be recognised as service to the nation or service to the wider community. As often as not however, their unselfishness is a simply-taken-for-granted part of the life of their family or neighbourhood.

They tend to have some sense that life itself is full of blessings, and is a precious gift for which we should be thankful. When life seems hard, the courageous do not lie down and accept defeat; instead, they are all the more determined to struggle for a better future.

I think we have a huge amount to learn from individuals such as these. And what I believe many of us share with them is a source of strength and peace of mind in our families and friends. Indeed, I can reflect on the blessing, comfort and support I have gained from some of my own family of friends in this special year.

At Thanksgiving, we all feel very fortunate to have our family and/or friends around us. But for many of you, this Thanksgiving will mean separation from loved ones and perhaps reflection on the memories of those no longer with us.

I hope that, like me, you will be comforted by the example of those we have all known in our lives who, often in circumstances of great adversity, managed to live an outgoing, unselfish and sacrificial life. I am personally inspired by memories of my beloved grandmother Irene, who taught me that genuine human happiness and satisfaction lie more in giving than receiving; more in serving than in being served.

I am still grateful that, even three years after her passing, I am still able to draw inspiration from her life and lessons, and to find in her memory a source of strength and courage. I hope that on this special day of giving thanks for those things we have and the people in our lives, you will find the strength and encouragement to sustain you too, not just on this day, but in the coming year.

I wish you all a very happy Thanksgiving.

I Hear the Sound of Silence

Yes, I'm in a melancholy funk once again. It's the day before Thanksgiving and I'll be spending it alone at Marie Calander's.

Why am I spending it alone? Well, I'm not exactly close with my father, I have doubts about my step-mother's judgement when it comes to picking husbands, my sister is the personification of evil, and my grand-parents have passed on. So, no family.

As for friends, they've all made plans with their families or they are in the group I refer to as "Special" friends (IE FALSE friends), so, no spending the day with "friends".

Add to all of that the news I received today that I was not cast in the Stockton Civic Theatre's upcoming production of "Are You Being Served?" and maybe you could understand my depression.

I Just Had the Strangest Dream

So many of the details faded from my mind before I could log-on to write about this dream, but here it goes anyway.

In my dream, I'm sitting at an outdoor table at some resteraunt in Los Angeles. My table is over looking a river or canal, some body of water. Anyway, for some reason, they are having an auto race in the city, like they do in parts of Europe, when one of the cars goes out of control and comes straight at me.

I don't get hurt or anything, but it sort of bumps me into the river my table was next to. Now, instead of swimming to shore and getting out of the river, I swim to a large ship that was sailing down stream toward the Pacific ocean. The ship looks like an oil tanker or some sort of cargo ship, but when I climb on board to find the captain so I can ask for his or her help, inside I find a smaller version of the ship stores like I saw on Mariner of the Seas, the ship I sailed on during my last cruise.

Now the strangest part of the dream is when I said to myself (yes, I talk to myself even in my dreams) "What are the odds? You'd think I'd have a better chance of being struck by lightning."

Strange, isn't it?

By the way, if you also talk to yourself, don't let people look at you funny and tease you for it. Just look them straight in the eye and say;

"Hey! It's the only way I can be sure of an intelligent conversation around here."

Maybe This Will Work

An eccentric aunt of mine once told me that if you want something to happen (or not happen), you should write it out 100 times. This would create the good karma necessary to achieve your desired result. So, here it goes.

I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it!

Wish me luck.

The Litany Against Fear

I must not fear.

Fear is the mind-killer.

Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.

I will face my fear.

I will permit it to pass over me and through me.

And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.

Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.

Only I will remain.

Another Haiku About Silence

It has been said that one person's Heaven is another person's Hell. Some time ago, I wrote my first Haiku poem about silence and I felt the need to write another one now.

I hear the silence.

Pressing in all around me,

I seek an escape.

The Heaven/Hell analogy becomes more obvious to me every day recently. The silence is pressing in on me from all sides. I need sound, but not just noise. I need someone to talk to who wants to hear what I have to say, and who has something they have to talk about with me.

Where I once sought escape from the false (and somewhat toxic) "friends" I had in previous times (and I don't care how bad it gets, I'm not going back to that group), now I seek companionship of a different sort.

Please don't think of me as some sort of pathetic loser, though I sometimes think I am. Maybe that's why I come on to strong sometimes. The silence of loneliness is deafening me. Grinding me down and wearing my spirit away like a river carving out a canyon. It makes me afraid, and clingy, and sometimes an easy mark for the unscrupulous to take advantage of.

I Don't Know What to Write About!

But I feel like I need to write about something. I'm not sure if I'm in a mood or not just now, but I'm feeling a little melancholy at the moment.

Maybe it's just the down slope after such a great day yesterday. You see, yesterday, I, my roommate Greg, and his friend Mike all went to one of my favorite places in the world, Monterey, California, and more specifically, the Monterey Bay Aquarium. They had a LOT of new displays and exhibits, including one about seahorses.

After we were done for the day at the aquarium (we stayed till 6:00 PM), we went to pick-up some friends who lived in (I think it was) Pacific Grove and all went out to dinner together at this really cute restaurant. I had the squash ravioli (and it was yummy).

Or, maybe it's the down slope from after meeting a really nice guy at Barnes & Noble for an actual coffee date. He's really smart, and just so sexy/cute/hot. It was all I could do to not kiss his beautiful lips and just content myself with conversation and looking into his warm, friendly, beautiful eyes.

I don't know whats wrong with me. I'm just feeling blue and I thought writing about it would help me cheer up and not be depressed.

Thank You Mr. Pfiefer

I just received a spam e-mail, very badly disguised as something important, and it probably had (as they say on the TV commercials) a computer virus (YIKES!!!).

How did I know? What makes me think it had a virus? Oh, just something my history teacher during my senior year at Berlin American High School taught once a long, long, long (well, maybe not THAT long ago) time ago. You see, the e-mail was not only from someone I don't know, the person's last name was Sanssouci, which is the name of the summer palace of Frederick the Great, King of Prussia, and the topic was vacation bargains in Guatemala.

So, thank you Mr. Pfiefer, wherever you may be, and you were right, you never know when what you learn in history class will come in useful.

Those who do not learn from history, are condemned to get taken in by an Internet scam and risk a computer virus.

Crescent Cookies

Hi, Everybody. The recipe I present this month is a little different.

In honor of the season, not just Halloween but Dia de Los Muertos I dug up (No, I'm not trying to do a bad impression of the Crypt Keeper) this recipe from one of my grandmother's old cookbooks from the 1950s. I hope you enjoy the result as much as I always did.

CRESCENT COOKIES

• 1 cup finely ground almonds
• 1 1/4 cups flour
• 1/2 cup confectioner's sugar
• 2 drops almond extract
• 1/2 cup butter (or margarine), softened
• 1 egg yolk (just the yolk).

1. Combine almonds, flour, sugar and extract until thoroughly mixed.
2. With your hands, work in the butter and egg yolk until well blended.
3. Chill the dough in your refrigerator for about 3 hours or so.
4. Preheat your oven to 350*F.
5. Pinch off pieces of dough about the size of a walnut and shape into crescents.
6. Place on a greased cookie sheet and bake for about 20 minutes.

I like eating these with a nice, chilled white zinfandel wine.

As always, eat and enjoy.

Ooops, I Did it Again!

I tell myself, every time, "I will not come on to strong. I will not make myself look like a stalker.", and I just can't seem to keep that promise to myself. I keep making myself seem kind of clingy, like the symbolism in the Walter Egan song, Magnet and Steel. Hopefully, he won't be scared off, and will still welcome my attention. I just have to wait and let him make the next move (and anyone who know me, knows that while I have incredible patience when necessary, sometimes, I try to open my Christmas presents early).

In other news, some asshole keeps trying to outbid me on EBay for a Canon Power Shot A460 digital camera. This is the same model I already have, but go ruined on my last Atlantis vacation to the Mexican Riviera. It's a great camera, and I really hope I win the bidding wars for this one.

Not much else to talk about at the moment. The chest cold I picked up in during my cruise is getting better, and I got my computer back from the repair shop yesterday.

Now, I just have to be patient, and wait for him to invite me to come and listen to The Hum.