A Haiku Poem About a Base Born Mental Defective

When I was in grade school in Honolulu, Hawaii, I learned to write haiku, and used to write them all the time whenever the spirit moved me. They were a way for me to distill my thoughts and emotions as concisely as possible.

I haven't written many in recent years, and my last one was posted on this blog was way back on June 10th, when I wrote A Haiku Poem About Silence, but last night, my spirit and emotions were moved by a base born mental defective* who thinks the wool has been pulled over the eyes of not only myself, but a good many other people.

So, it is to this person I dedicate my latest haiku;

Time and time again,

Thousands of words will be used.

Nothing will be said.

*(Sounds a lot nicer than saying Bastard Moron, doesn't it)

Of Assholes and Afterthoughts

Why is it we never think of the perfect thing to say in a moment until after that moment has passed?

While I was at the gym today (24 Hour Fitness) I was minding my own business on the treadmill, working my way back to the point where I'll be able to run 5 MPH for 60 minutes (currently I'm doing 3.5 MPH for 40 minutes) when a woman on the treadmill next to me started poking me in the shoulder to get my attention.

As soon as I took out the earphone for my portable CD player (I'm to cheap to buy an iPod), she starts going on about an announcement the gym staff had just made over the PA system. "You've got to get off your treadmill now! They just said over the PA you can only be on the cardio machines for 20 minutes at a time!".

I was so stunned that she had even been poking me in the shoulder, let alone the anal retentive tone she was using with me, that all I could do was just turn off my treadmill and walk away. I was that amazed.

Afterwards, I thought of the perfect thing to say to that asshole bitch (pardon my language), but of course it was to late. I should have said "I'm guessing you were a hall monitor in school from kindergarten through your senior year. Weren't you? Well, find a teacher and report me if you want, and in the meantime, mind your own f***ing business!"

I could have also reminded her that intentionally touching someone without their permission and/or consent could be construed as assault, and if I was as much a bastard as she was a bitch (again, pardon my language), I could press charges and have her arrested. Would that have been to much?

Sorry for all the swearing in this post. Normally I don't talk (let alone write) that way. I've always felt that with over 300,000 words in the English language alone, it showed lack of intelligence to use the same four letter ones over and over ad naseum, but in this instance, I was provoked.

I've heard it said "Hell hath no fury like woman scorned". Well, I have a new one for the world, "Woman's scorn is nothing compared to a Wesley pissed off."

Almond Celery Bake with Mushrooms

I made a special dinner last night for my roommate Greg, and a friend of his who suffers from Crhon's Disease. I did some research on the condition (thank you World Wide Web) to find out more about the condition and what foods could be eaten comfortably. Say what you will about me, but I try to NEVER kill a dinner guest with my cooking (and so far never have), at least not accidentally.

Anyway, I decided to fix a Cranberry Pork Roast and as a side dish, an Almond Celery Bake with Mushrooms, and it is the later recipe I decided to share with you today.

Almond Celery Bake with Mushrooms

• 1 bunch of celery, sliced (about 5 to 6 cups)
• 3/4 cups shredded cheddar cheese (I used a Jalapeno variety last night)
• 1/2 teaspoon paprika
• 1/8 teaspoon pepper
• 1 can (10 3/4 ounces) condensed cream of celery soup, undiluted
• 1 cup soft bread crumbs (I used an Italian seasoned variety last night)
• 1/2 lbs sliced mushrooms
• 1/2 cup slivered almonds

1. Place the celery in a greased (Pam will do) 2 quart baking dish with a cover.
2. Place the mushrooms over the celery and cover with the shredded cheese.
3. Sprinkle paprika and pepper over the cheese and top with the cream of mushroom soup.
4. Sprinkle with bread crumbs.
5. Cover and bake at 375*f for 45 minutes, uncover ad sprinkle with the almonds.
6. Bake for another 10 to 15 minutes or until golden brown.

This dish yields about 10 to 12 servings. As always, eat and enjoy.

I hope you all find this dish as tasty as I, Greg, and all the friends that came to dinner last night did.

My Little War On Apathy

Some time ago, I posted about how frustrated I had been growing with the apathy of many of the people I had come to know while serving as a volunteer for a local chapter of a non-profit, and I likened it to fighting a war. Well, the war is over. I lost.

I was at a church service recently at Valley Ministries, and the minister, Pastor Terri, told a story of a long ago village in Spain that was to be visited by the king. Now as I recall the story (and if you're reading this, P.T., thank you) this village was most famous for it's grape vineyards and wine making. So, it was decided to give the king wine from each family as a gift, and the head of each family would pour a goblet of their best wine into a huge barrel. When the barrel was tapped though, only water came out because each person withheld their own wine because they thought everyone else would pour in wine, and one goblet of water wouldn't be noticed. Well, when everyone thinks they can get by with water instead of wine, all you get is water.

To many have decided they can get by with giving water instead of wine, and while there is still some wine left in the barrel, it has become so diluted, you can hardly tell anymore, and it's going more diluted with each passing day.

I have, therefore, decided to stop drinking from that barrel, and share my wine in another vat.

Video Et Audio Et Taceo (Part 2)

See All, Hear All, Say Nothing

Oh the things I could say off all the things I've seen,

Oh the things I could repeat of everything I've overheard.

Once I did lament of being ignored by those who surround me,

The invisible space at the center of everything.

Yet, I keep my silence.

For if knowledge truly is power, I am more powerful than any I know.

My mind is unknown, therefore I am unconquerable.

Think not the secrets I tell mean anything.

For what does the world know of me?

Only that which I choose to share.

And are you so sure it's not just an act?

A story to entertain and distract?

Yet, having concealed myself for so long, do I even truly know myself?

Esau's Pottage

My grandmother was a woman of great and loving wisdom, and the single greatest influence on my life, my character, and the person I have become and hope to be, and one of the best things I remember about her is how she would apply bible stories to everyday life lessons.

One such story came from Genesis 25: 27 - 34 and dealt with the story of Esau and Jacob and stressed the importance of long term thinking. I'll try not to bore any of my readers with a recitation of the chapter and verse, but the gist of it was that one day Esau came back from hunting without much success and was hungry. He discovered his brother Jacob cooking a pottage (aka stew) of lentils. Esau was the elder brother and traded his birthright to Jacob, his younger brother, for a bowl of stew and some bread, being more concerned with his hunger of the moment than the long term value of his birthright.

I'm sure Pastor Terri L. Miller at Valley Ministries (MCC) could have put it better, but then she's someone who's studied the bible, and I'm only a lay (if even that) person.

Anyway, countless variations of this dish exist, but I only have so much time. So, I present for your consideration, this version of that most famous of all stews;

ESAU'S POTTAGE

• 2 tablespoons of olive oil
• 1 large onion, chopped
• 4 stalks of celery, chopped
• 2 tablespoons of minced garlic
• 1 1/2 cups dry red lentils
• 2 cups (8 quarts) water
• 6 chicken bouillon cubes
• Salt and pepper to taste

1. Heat oil in a large pot.
2. Add the onion, celery and garlic. Heat until the onion is translucent and everything smells really, really good.
3. Add the water, lentils, and bouillon cubes.
4. Bring the mixture to a boil.
5. Reduce the heat and simmer the pottage over medium heat for about 45 minutes, or until the lentils are nice and tender.
6. Try a small sample and add salt and pepper to taste.

As always, eat and enjoy.

PS: If someone makes this for you, don't trade your birthright for it. Although it is delicious, it's not THAT delicious ;)

Thank You Greg

March was a crazy month for me. Lots of stuff happening to get ready for the upcoming Stockton Imperial Coronation, and lots of crap to put up with at work (pay cuts and possible lay-offs!), but I did have one bright spot today, and I wanted to share it with the world and give thanks to my roommate, Greg.

When I learned I would have to take a 10% pay cut at work (thank you John Briggs Ala "Prop 13" and Herr Govenator) I had to think of as many ways as I could to economize and cut my expenses (see I Am So Frightened), and one of those ways was to get a roommate. It wasn't easy at first, after all I've never lived with anyone I wasn't related to before, but it got better day by day, and today was the best proof my personal austerity measures are paying off.

I not only paid all my bills without having to dip into the money my grandmother left me, I was actually able to DEPOSIT some money INTO my account at Charles Schwab, and I wouldn't have been able to do it without my roommate and friend Greg.

Thank you, Greg. You're a good friend.