My Last Play?

I think "The Producers", the show I'm performing in at the Stockton Civic Theatre may be the last show I'm ever in.

I don't know why, but I seem to be the whipping boy for most of the cast and crew. The one they can push under their collective thumbs and treat as though I'm lower than the dust under their feet.

Of course, some of it is my fault. Thursday evening, I forgot to bring some of my costume to the theatre (I had brought it home for cleaning), and was running around at the last minute trying to figure out what to do. I'm sure the people who matter will never cast me in anything again after that.

This all makes me very sad, because I was having so much fun, and thought I was making some good friends. I think I may have been wrong.

I guess that the world (or the people I usually end up working with) just needs a designated victim/whipping-boy, and I guess it's me.

Then again, maybe the people who are the most hurtful are, in their own unsuccessful way, just trying to be funny. They are failing.

And if they really are doing it because they get off on destroying my self-esteem and sense of self worth, I just have this to say; "You're to late! My mother, sister, and Junior High School beat you to it"

I have been told I try to hard to please and be accommodating, and that I should tone it down. But when I tone it down, I'm told I don't try hard enough.

I just can't win for losing.