I Dared to Hope

I was stupid! I offered my heart and dared to hope that this time it would be different, and once again, my hopes were crushed and my heart has been broken.

I feel safe posting this, because I'm getting a pretty clear picture that none of my so called friends (in spite of them saying they do) ever read my blog. I can understand no one posting a comment, because if they read my blog, they might not want anyone else to know they read my blog, and thus not be able to join in on the dissing of it, but so far not one person has bothered to take part in my funny little survey.

Anyway, my broken heart has nothing to do with any of those fair-weather friends, it's about a guy I liked, and who I thought liked me.

I received some pictures recently from a bay area photographer who attended an event hosted by San Francisco Ducal, some sort of "Daddy & Boy" show in The City. A couple of the pictures I received were of the guy I liked with his arms around some skinny bastard.

No, that's not fair. It's not his fault I tried giving my heart to someone who turned out to be an asshole. It's the assholes fault!

I won't give his real name, so lets call him "John" (a nice, generic name).

John, if you didn't like me, if you found me to be fat and unattractive, just say so. It would have hurt a lot less than being led along and toyed with! I could have forgiven all of that, but I have to much pride to ever forgive being made a fool of.

Did you find it fun and entertaining? Did you tell all your friends how you had a fat, four-eyed freak following you around like a dog in heat?

Was it worth it?

I ask because eventually, I will have the last word on this. Things are changing for me, and while you think you'll always be able to do better than me, the day will come when you can't, but I WILL be able to do better than you, and you will see that it doesn't pay to treat me (or anyone really) as poorly as you did.